This isn't really stuff that I normally write, but it's raw... and I'm not sure if I should split it up throughout my multi genre or just show it as one. It's a poem my character wrote to a girl that he has liked for a long time, but she's hard to get along with, and takes him for granted. They are best friends, but he is afraid to really tell her how he feels about her. And when he shares this and she doesn't really care, and combined with some under-lying depression he has, his life takes a nose-dive. I'm gonna show events before the poem is shared, and then the events after.



I don't get it. I know that I'll regret it but i keep comin back for more there's
something that I can't ignore. it's like one way glass I can see you but u can't see
me is this the way that u want it to be? We're friends but I feel like the messagethat you send is that's will be the way it'll be till the end. I get so frustrated but what can I do about it cuz when I talk, it seems like u don't wanna hear about it. Am I not the kind of guy that makes u want to fly or am I just a tool who's ok to be treated cruel? Do u even get how I feel about us and if u did would
it probably break your trust? You're like the mirror on the wall waitin for u to say I'm the fairest of them all but all I've done is fall...right on my face makes me feel like a disgrace is this truly my place? It's bitterness that I can taste. Everytime I look at you my heart goes into overdrive and the feelings so intense I don'tcare if I make it out alive. pleasing you is something that I strive for but
sometimes its like you take it all and throw it on the damn floor.

I've been waitin so long! for five years!I should just throw away all my fears,
like me, they don't matter and u know what makes me madder? All u do is date dicks
and I just get to pick up sticks and it makes me sick cuz your visions clouded... U
can't see shit! can't you see ME standing in front of you didn't just randomly appear
out of the blue telling u my heart runs true but only for u and still after all the
stuff you do like sayin no one cares about you when I doubt anyone could more than
I do? all the shit u do how could I be lovin u?Why can't I give up why can't I moveon it's like a never ending marathon now I'm out of breath if u tell me u don'tfeel this way I'll be as dead as death. Do u care would u even give a F$#* or am I just your dumbass duck, down on his luck then loaded dead into Someones pickup truck? Sometimes I make you mad just for attention. when we're starin eye to eye it's like the ascension  but I fail to mention that that the look I'm seeing is full of
tension. I text you all time, and hell I even made this shit rhyme but you know why I don't
repeat it? Cuz I don't want u to read it! Im so afraid that I've shared too much, that I didn't ease off the clutch u don't care that I'd hide anywhere just not to hear that u don't share....the feelings that I do, and then our friendship would be thrrough.                                                                                                          

Guess I could settle the score by blowing my brains all over the floor but u wouldnt care and i dont think I do anymore. Will someone please tell me what to do? This weight on my chest this shit that won't let me rest is from you not caring screw myself for sharing. Some kinda music inside of me that's blaring and everyone but u is staring. Is that earplugs you're wearing? Well not
gonnna repeat this again do u just want to be friends in this world where everybody
pretends... to be something they're not eventually we're all gonna be a damn robot.
But I would and I do. I do that for you already and i'm still holding my mask steady. But whats
behind it isn't rage. It's my entire self. On this page. I wonder if I could
find the key to your cold exterior and what happens when I turn the lock. Would you actually see
me finally and stand there in shock? Or maybe you would just look at me in disgust
and mistrust and then laugh cuz the keys a fake hopefully not like every flirtation
you make. My hands might shake because that ... I could not take. All the confusion and self doubt and pain inside accented by the....way that you just can't even seem to find a... Spot for
me, can't take me seriously, never said we're meant to be but you can't even wait and
see? Who does that cheat? You? No. Probably just me.

Not tryin to diss you venting helps me think but it's not like I haven't or been tempted to drink.  The way I feel makes me swim plus you don't care if I sink. This may leave you thinking this could have
sounded better, but I told you how I felt altogether. Feelings change just like the
weather, or dry up like old leather; however when it goes great I'm floating like a
feather. Just because of time together. And I've always wanted to stand out in the
crowd for you like a sore thumb, happy and sad that you always make me go numb and
I'm angry that talking to you usually makes me sound dumb. Its easy to talk, but if
it came out right we wouldn't have a stupid little fight that only I care about. is
it useless cuz i don't want your answer to be truthless. The cards are always on the
table if you got tired of raising Cain I would go save Abel. Not sure I want an
answer but keeping all this inside is like cancer. Whatever you think or if you say
no, let's not go our separate ways till the end of these short high-school days, not
break away like split ends, could'nt we can still be friend? I'm not you so I don't know
what the effect will be...hopefully you're not creeped out by me this is
nerve-racking to share cuz it's all there its all real and it's the sum of how I
feel. And if you've read and listened you now know what everyone close knows what I
think about. Haha.You. But what's worse is that you might know all this too and
still cant love me. What do I think I think about you?