This isn't really stuff that I normally write, but it's raw... and I'm not sure if I should split it up throughout my multi genre or just show it as one. It's a poem my character wrote to a girl that he has liked for a long time, but she's hard to get along with, and takes him for granted. They are best friends, but he is afraid to really tell her how he feels about her. And when he shares this and she doesn't really care, and combined with some under-lying depression he has, his life takes a nose-dive. I'm gonna show events before the poem is shared, and then the events after.



I don't get it. I know that I'll regret it but i keep comin back for more there's
something that I can't ignore. it's like one way glass I can see you but u can't see
me is this the way that u want it to be? We're friends but I feel like the messagethat you send is that's will be the way it'll be till the end. I get so frustrated but what can I do about it cuz when I talk, it seems like u don't wanna hear about it. Am I not the kind of guy that makes u want to fly or am I just a tool who's ok to be treated cruel? Do u even get how I feel about us and if u did would
it probably break your trust? You're like the mirror on the wall waitin for u to say I'm the fairest of them all but all I've done is fall...right on my face makes me feel like a disgrace is this truly my place? It's bitterness that I can taste. Everytime I look at you my heart goes into overdrive and the feelings so intense I don'tcare if I make it out alive. pleasing you is something that I strive for but
sometimes its like you take it all and throw it on the damn floor.

I've been waitin so long! for five years!I should just throw away all my fears,
like me, they don't matter and u know what makes me madder? All u do is date dicks
and I just get to pick up sticks and it makes me sick cuz your visions clouded... U
can't see shit! can't you see ME standing in front of you didn't just randomly appear
out of the blue telling u my heart runs true but only for u and still after all the
stuff you do like sayin no one cares about you when I doubt anyone could more than
I do? all the shit u do how could I be lovin u?Why can't I give up why can't I moveon it's like a never ending marathon now I'm out of breath if u tell me u don'tfeel this way I'll be as dead as death. Do u care would u even give a F$#* or am I just your dumbass duck, down on his luck then loaded dead into Someones pickup truck? Sometimes I make you mad just for attention. when we're starin eye to eye it's like the ascension  but I fail to mention that that the look I'm seeing is full of
tension. I text you all time, and hell I even made this shit rhyme but you know why I don't
repeat it? Cuz I don't want u to read it! Im so afraid that I've shared too much, that I didn't ease off the clutch u don't care that I'd hide anywhere just not to hear that u don't share....the feelings that I do, and then our friendship would be thrrough.                                                                                                          

Guess I could settle the score by blowing my brains all over the floor but u wouldnt care and i dont think I do anymore. Will someone please tell me what to do? This weight on my chest this shit that won't let me rest is from you not caring screw myself for sharing. Some kinda music inside of me that's blaring and everyone but u is staring. Is that earplugs you're wearing? Well not
gonnna repeat this again do u just want to be friends in this world where everybody
pretends... to be something they're not eventually we're all gonna be a damn robot.
But I would and I do. I do that for you already and i'm still holding my mask steady. But whats
behind it isn't rage. It's my entire self. On this page. I wonder if I could
find the key to your cold exterior and what happens when I turn the lock. Would you actually see
me finally and stand there in shock? Or maybe you would just look at me in disgust
and mistrust and then laugh cuz the keys a fake hopefully not like every flirtation
you make. My hands might shake because that ... I could not take. All the confusion and self doubt and pain inside accented by the....way that you just can't even seem to find a... Spot for
me, can't take me seriously, never said we're meant to be but you can't even wait and
see? Who does that cheat? You? No. Probably just me.

Not tryin to diss you venting helps me think but it's not like I haven't or been tempted to drink.  The way I feel makes me swim plus you don't care if I sink. This may leave you thinking this could have
sounded better, but I told you how I felt altogether. Feelings change just like the
weather, or dry up like old leather; however when it goes great I'm floating like a
feather. Just because of time together. And I've always wanted to stand out in the
crowd for you like a sore thumb, happy and sad that you always make me go numb and
I'm angry that talking to you usually makes me sound dumb. Its easy to talk, but if
it came out right we wouldn't have a stupid little fight that only I care about. is
it useless cuz i don't want your answer to be truthless. The cards are always on the
table if you got tired of raising Cain I would go save Abel. Not sure I want an
answer but keeping all this inside is like cancer. Whatever you think or if you say
no, let's not go our separate ways till the end of these short high-school days, not
break away like split ends, could'nt we can still be friend? I'm not you so I don't know
what the effect will be...hopefully you're not creeped out by me this is
nerve-racking to share cuz it's all there its all real and it's the sum of how I
feel. And if you've read and listened you now know what everyone close knows what I
think about. Haha.You. But what's worse is that you might know all this too and
still cant love me. What do I think I think about you?

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/5020226/jason%27s_philospy_to_life

Characters

He hopped of the horse like a hollywood cowboy. "alright, ya bunch of city slickers!", Darrell shouted as he hit the ground, "You are now in Darrell's horse riding lessons, and you gonna learn to ride, like a professional!" He patted his "hoss", and sized up the group of 2nd graders he had in front of him. He put on his best drill seargent face, and puffed out his chest. He gruffed up his voice, and made his Texas accent even more annoying than usual. "alright, young uns, formation." The kids stared at him in confusion. Some started to cry, and others muttered words that showed off their sailors' vocabulary.

Moonlight

 I was in a forest. It was night, and the tall dark trees stood over me. The moon was enormous and shone like a watchful eye down across the shadowscape. it was not yet high in the sky, so only through the boughs of confers could it be seen. The air was cold and unfriendly; I shivered. The trees moaned and creaked as they rocked back and forth as if blown by the wind, but there was none. Goosebumps crawled across my arms. I was cold, but also afraid. I decided i would walk on. I took a step, and then stopped in suprise. i was barefoot, and the needles of the pine trees poked my feet. There was no undergrowth, but there was the needles littered across the forest floor. Enormous black roots twisted across the ground, and then plunged back into the earth. I knew that i was lost. None of this made any sense. Why was i here? I rubbed my eyes again and continued to walk, using the roots of the trees as paths to avoid the needles, like a child on railroad tracks. On and on I traveled, and the night continued. I could tell the sun had never before risen over this forest. Looking down now, the fog twirled itself around my bare feet. I saw falling stars once, in a break through the treetops, but when i looked again, they were gone. A was formed before me. I don't know how. If it had been there and was as old as the earth I don't know, or if it was gradually formed in my moving along the twisted roots. I sat down. I was not tired, but i felt as though I was expecting something to happen. As if on cue, a glow appeared not far from me, on my right towards the Road. A candle. it dissappeared behind a massive pine, and i sat forward, anxiously peering to see it reappear. There. There it was again. Moving slowly, and the candle was carried by a cloaked figure. More appeared behind the first, and moving slowly enought that I could count them. Sixteen. They moved out of the shadows of the trees onto the main road, and continued down it with their backs toward me. I was breathless. i had been certain that no one else or nothing else had been in there with me under the moon, but the expanse of trees must have been endless. I pulled myself up from the side of the road, and watched as the last light disappeared around a left corner. I had to follow. I raced through the trees to meet them at the corner and then follow. I have never ran so fast in my life, but as i ran to cut the corner, i was blown by a sudden gust of energy back onto the Road. I am not certain, but my guess is that i was only allowed to stay on the road, and had seen as much of the rest of the forest as i was allowed. I got up, and my head spun from rolling. As it all came back into focus, I jumped in suprise. A gate of iron stood in front of me, with cruel points and a bent and broken frame. I had not it seen down the Road. i scrambled up and spun wide-eyed around. the moon was there, taking up almost all of the sky, and it let of a ethereal aura that I could see and feel as much as the dim light it gave off. and  A clearing opened up behind the gate, with the trees surrounding it in a circle. Looking back, wrought in the iron was a darkly elegant archway to enter under. On the archway, the number 1995 glowed with a sickly green. i took a quick breath. I stepped through the gate. Suddenly i was struck down, and a deep thrumming sound pulsed through my ears, and the rest of my body. the sixteen hooded figures materialized around me. And in horror i looked up at them from the ground. i couldnt hear anything, and the deep noise in my skull was getting more intense. One of the cloaked figures stepped forward. he knelt down and reached out with an arm. A hand came from under his sleeve. I was skeletal with unnaturally long fingers. the hand went to my chest. Ice. I tensed and stopped breathing. An intense feeling of being put in ice water came over me.I heard only my heart. it beat slow, and slower, and then it quit. The pulsing noise ceased, and I sank below the surface of the icy water. 
A boy stepped into a clearing. he had been wandering in a forest, lost, and confused. Now with a break from the trees, he looked around. Nothing. A gate on the far end he could see, but it had obviously been destroyed and the black metal was broken. he strode out across the dead grass, not knowing what he would do.
 It took longer than he thought to cross the expanse of grass. As he neared the other side, getting closer to the grim pines on the other side, he saw a body. He ran towards it, and put a hand to its shoulder.
he flipped the body over to check if whoever it was was okay. It was him. he reeled back in shock. The face was his, now cold and blank, and the eyes that might have been brown were two black orbs that reflected his own frightened face.
where the dead boy had lain on the ground, the grass had been scorched and burned. He took a deep breath. taking a look at the boys face again, he reached out and shut his dopplehangers' eyelids.
And then he knew. he stood back up. The boy raised his eyes to the alien sky and saw the moon had shrunk and stars glimmered faintly. everything made sense. He didn't look back at the corpse and made his way across the glade.
  He came to the gate and stepped over it. He then walked back down the Road, and after a long walk  came to a bridge that ended half way across a deep vale. he felt something on the Other Side that was competing with the darkness, fighting to stay for the short while that it had to.
He put a bare foot onto the stone, and to his suprise, found it was warm. he also noticed that the stonework of the bridge got gradually fairer and brighter towards the other side.

 A feeling of relief washed over him, and as he came to the edge in the middle of the bridge, he looked down. Darkness. But he knew. The boy took the two next steps, and then vanished with a ripple in the air on the Other Side. A clear, beautiful note rang out once, and a fire of the purest kind burned the trees to the ground.

Dave wakes up. he climbs out of bed. He looks in the mirror. he sees a man that needs to shave, with blood-shot eyes and wild hair. The normal morning grind. Coffee, shower, gets dressed. Dave's Iphone goes off. The light of the world outside warming up reflects of the screen and the black marble counter top. Julie's calling. or, actually called. Twice. Dave frowns and rubs his forehead. Julie. His ex wife. Hasn't talked to her in six months at least. a cold, uncomfortable feeling begins in dave's stomach. he presses call. Seconds tick by. Suddenly, a female voice comes through on the other side of the phone. "Dave?...." He swallows and replies. "hi, Julie."He says slowly. " I know you work today," she began, "but could you meet me today at that starbucks we used to go to?" Dave sets the phone down, and rubs his forehead. After a minute, he ays yes and hangs up. Dave checks in the mirror one more time, grabs his sport coatand walks out into his three car garage. The still dim fluorescent bulbs shone off Dave's beauty of a car. Five mintues  later, Dave has left his ritzy house in the suburbs of Detroit, and is rumbling down the blocks of Motor City. A few stoplights, two left turns, and a right,and then he is there. Dave parallel parks, hops out the driver's seat and locks his Dodge Viper over his shoulder. With an even stride, he walks to the glass door of the coffee shop, and pulls the door open. A bell rings, and he looks around. No one is there. Why is there no one here? Oh,  right Julie's friends with the owner... She must have told him we were meeting.